Control is not the way through Life.

Life seems like a bit of a shitshow out there right now.

Fears of scarcity creep in.

Insecurities arise.

Its turbulent out there indeed, but the twists, turns, bumps, and jolts cannot be controlled.

Life seems like a shitshow out there right now, and the fears of scarcity can feel like they’re creeping in.

Seasons like these bring forth insecurities that could have been otherwise ignored.

Everything is amplified when there is tension in the air that is brought into the body, even the feelings that seem paradoxical to amplification.

Dullness can be vibrant.

Confusion can be clear.

Plan A can feel a lot like Plan Z.

I’ve felt dull, exhausted, and intrinsically unmotivated.

My default responses to these feeling are avoidance, ignorance, and transcendence, all of which are rooted in trying to control life.

What is to be controlled?

I only attempt to control something that is not mine to control.

Emotional states that can be perceived as anti-productive can certainly be repressed but this only a temporary form of control that still needs to be addressed at a later date.

Don’t even get me started about trying to control what happens in your outer environment…

my goodness…

I would never admit it, but I tend to try so elegantly to control the way I am seen navigating through life especially when it becomes turbulent.

When life gets bumpy, our desire to control kicks in. Perceived safety is rooted in still waters, and the things we do to try and quiet the waters around us when they become activated is far from authentic.

This is not the way.

Control is inauthentic.

Its not an inherently wrong approach to navigating through life, but there are alternate ways of being that come from a place of freedom, rather than fear.

I wish that I could say I am practicing what I’m preaching, but I am certainly operating out of state of flight or flight as of late, though if you know me in my everyday life it would seem like its business as usual.

Here’s the truth:

Control is rooted in fear.

Its relating to uncertainty through trying to create certainty.

You can experience mild states of success with this approach, but that loop is exhausting, and even in my young age, my patience is dwindling with type A reaction.

When operating from a place of fear, we tend to create more of the conditions that prompt us to act further from places of fear.

What we focus on we create.

Of course, it is extremely helpful to know what you don’t want in life, but trying to avoid what you don’t want creates the opposite focus in life.

Where are you looking in life right now?

Notice how you are heading closer to that which you focus on.

Here’s a less than ideal example.

There’s a big rock that rolls into the road. The last thing you want to do is focus so intently on that rock.

You must acknowledge its presence, but to effortlessly maneuver around the rock you must take your focus away from it.

To expand the metaphor, what humans usually do is slam the brakes right in front of the rock, stare at it, get out of the car and say,

“Damn that’s a big rock, I certainly don’t want to get on the wrong side of this thing”

(approaches rock precariously) “Is there anything you need, rock?”

“Any particular way I can satisfy your wants and desires, so that you can spare me from potential anguish? You really are the greatest rock I’ve ever seen, thank you for being so magnificent.”

Alright, alright, you get the memo.

Focusing on what we don’t want to create in life is not the path to creating the life we want.

This type of focus requires control.

Control is unsustainable because life will always provide you infinitely more amounts of scenarios to control. Life’s bag of tricks is much deeper than your capacity to control.

Some people function on control, but only ever as a good version of their very limited self.

Each scenario you control require you to unplug one spark plug from your inner authentic engine.

A few areas of control can a tremendous impact on performance.