Un-doubting Yourself: Overcome Self-doubt
Oh the slippery slope of language… and the need to really listen to the words we are using and how we are using them.
Let’s just radically simplify one universal law to illustrate this, and buckle up because its chalk full of paradox.
Law #1.
To realize your desired outcome, you must be fully confident in the belief that no other alternative logically exists.
Postulate of Law #1.
To create said desired outcome you must be fully committed to the path of progress but completely detached from ever getting ‘there’.
Postulate to Postulate of Law #1.
You must completely accept the reality within Postulate of Law #1.
So here is what this all means.
The true measure of your belief in yourself and the confidence in your path can only be observed in the nuance of everyday life.
Yes, traversing BIG life scenarios is a testament to the strength of your self-concept, but all the magic and limitation lives in the little unconscious expressions.
An example of subconscious doubt I hear in 99% of people, of which I am at the front of the line…
“I wish I could…”
How often do you find yourself using this language?
Can you feel the separation baked into that phrase?
I wish.
I would.
I should.
I could have.
Expressions of doubt, and not the healthy kind…
These little phrases come from the depths when we are relating to the future or reflecting on the past.
The Language we use has a sneaky little way of contradicting ourselves.
Let’s say I have a burning desire to take the day off and surf three days from now because I know its going to be a magical day.
Immediately, a handful of stories come up expressing their concern for my current perceived sense of safety in responsibility that is being threatened by this radical desire.
“I wish I could, but (insert whatever limiting belief wants to express itself that day)”
I need to be at work.
I have to finish that newsletter.
I must walk our dog Raul for 6 hours or else he’s going to get cranky.
I should just x,y,z.
Catering to these responsibilities is great; it’s an intimate part of feeling structure and of service.
But we really need to use some keen discernment and radical honesty within ourselves when we justify separation between our dreams because of said responsibilities.
The truth is…
The responsibilities that look like they may be the obstacles are not the obstacles.
The obstacle is the way we hide behind the ‘things’ in our lives to keep a safe distance from our dreams.
You can keep all of your responsibilities at the same time as you bridge the space between who you are and who you want to be.
They are not mutually exclusive of each other.
So what we are left with is an underlying belief of doubt.
It’s okay to doubt because you need to recognize the doubt in order to reconcile the doubt.
Doubt is intimately connected to your inner sense of self-worth.
From this place emanates all other aspects of your self-concept from confidence, clarity, connection and beyond.
Without reconciling the parts of you that hold stories of not feeling worthy, adequate, or confident enough to actually create the life you desire, there is no such life.
Doubt represents the belief that you don’t fully believe in what is possible.
This staunchly opposes the aforementioned Law #1.
How can I overcome self-doubt?
1. You need some accountability to make you aware of your language.
Whether its your partner, your friend, your dog if your dog happens be highly telepathic, or a coach, mentor, therapist, whatever it may be - having someone who can reflect to you when you are using language of doubt when talking about what you want to see happen in your life is a crucial first step.
Look for the “I wish I could,” phrase to start.
2. Let all the stories of ‘why you believe you can’t’ arise.
See which stories are just little facades that you’ve constructed so that the small idea of yourself can hide behind them.
3. Question the validity of those stories.
Is it absolutely true that I cannot pursue this because of that?
(hint: 99% of the time the answer is no)
4. Question the validity of your self-concept that is attached to those stories.
If you really want to just fast-track all the inner work, you can just find your birth certificate and look for certified stamps of disapproval that say things like…
“Not Confident.”
“Not good enough.”
“Defective”
You’ll find that you won’t find these.
5. Celebrate. Hooray!
Kidding, not kidding.
Add some levity into the serious process of getting down to your inherent sense of self-worth. Peel back the layers with grace and a bit of humor.
You don’t need to construct an entirely new you overnight from the ground up, but just beginning to create a new neural pathway that replaces “I wish I could” with “I can and I will” goes tremendously far in helping you along your path to success, fulfilment, and liberation.
In light of cultivating authentic success and fulfilment in your life..
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