The Fear of Authenticity
If you are trying to be authentic,
You are not being authentic.
Release a little tension,
Let go of some of the pressure to show up in the way you think is authentic,
And focus on feeling more of what feels nourishing to you.
Authenticity is a natural code
A vein of consciousness unique to you.
Sometimes the more you focus on blinking,
The more unnatural blinking becomes.
Authenticity is this way.
It is your natural way,
But the problem is that all of us are far from natural in our ways of being because of our outdated conditioning.
Alas, conditioning itself isn’t the enemy.
There are no enemies to creativity,
just collaborators and visitors in disguise.
The obstacles that make it difficult to feel like we are in our authentic expression are actually the very things we need to inquiry deeply upon and integrate into our expression.
My wife talks a lot about resistance and it’s beautiful role in creation.
Resistance is what keeps space between you and You (Capital Y, You).
Its the liminal space that reflects back to you where you lack intimacy with your own inner landscape.
Its the form of intimacy to life that you deeply yearn for yet remain in separation of because the reality of that intimacy illuminates a wildness of fear inside of you.
This fear is often very particular and very nuance.
Resistance reveals to you the exact fear that needs to be integrated into your life so that it may be transfigured.
Fear is Code in the language of the consciousness.
Its that little piece of daunting information encoded with memory that is certainly not chalk full of flowers and dandelions, but must be embraced.
When we try to create without addressing our fears in creation,
we are evading our authentic self.
We indeed may create very beautiful, impactful, or transformative things,
but in this light you can only become the best version of a still limited self.
Collaborating with your fears is letting your guard down.
It is a very counter-intuitive realization.
When I create with my underlying fear present, I am not totally safe as I am.
I am holding the tension that the fear brings to the surface but I am not willing or allowing myself to kneed it into something more useful for my authentic self to use.
In fact, most of the time, the “Me” that is creating doesn’t know what to do with the fear so it then becomes natural just to keep it in the back pocket unknowing that it will subconsciously draw my energy from me.
Your authentic self knows exactly what to do with fears that arise in you.
Your true nature does not fear fear.
The you that is the artist collaborates with fear and changes its state from one which is dense, constricting, and reductive to one of levity, inspiration, and expansion.
The goal is never to transcend your fears as if to hop the metaphorical fence beyond the domain fear but rather to knock on the front door when you are ready and to come inside for a cup of tea.
You may be very surprised by what you hear when you deeply listen to your fears and from where inside of you they are speaking.
Continue reading Part 2: Liberation here.
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