The Dance between Fear and Freedom

Fear, Freedom, and You walk into a bar…

Despite your differences, the bar fight is not inevitable. 

Freedom and fear are measures of the same thing.

Whether fear is a measure of freedom or lack thereof, or if freedom is a measure of fear or lack thereof is up to question.

You get to decide what feels authentic for you through your perception and focus. 

In my life, I like to believe that freedom is the substructure to everything.

However, I certainly allow fear to undermine that from time to time.

The truth is,

The underlying structure to your life can be whatever you want it to be.

Just become extremely aware that whatever that essence is, it will create more of itself through your life and environment.

What you focus on you will create.

The dilemma is that our unconscious can often reign supreme in this category.

We may choose to focus on a certain outcome,

a certain feeling,

or a certain method of dealing with the comings and goings of life, 

but to what degree has that just been the default pattern as far as you could remember?

There’s no wrong way to live your life.

to choose to how to feel.

or to focus your energy.

But there is always space to re-evaluate these things.

How accurate does this pattern reflect who I am now?

I’ll give you a story about the dance between fear and freedom.

I was swimming in a mineral spring waterfall.

It was nothing short of magical in every aspect of the word.

I was drip drying in the sun atop a quasi-comfortable rock.

It was not up to par with the rocks that I usually express deep interest within, but nonetheless it was in the sun at the otherwise shaded mid-day mountain canyon spring.

It was a great rock, who am I kidding, but the perch was uncomfortable so I had to sit in more of a low squat position.

Around me was an unusual amount of insect critters.

Activity was high and they were closing in on me of all things.

A butterfly in particular made its presence known and landed with its face almost touching my feet and its wings flapping gently brushing against my toes as if asking permission for something.

Long story short,

I accepted the butterfly and gave her permission to do whatever it is that butterflies do. 

What happened next put me pretty on par with David Attenborough. 

This butterfly crawled up on me, uncurled its tongue/snout/ trunk/ whatever the hell it was and began to tickle the fancy of my toes.

There were mineral crystals forming on my feet from the drip dry sun bask because of the Sulphur in the water.

The butterfly was eating these crystals off my feet.

It was remarkable, and quite the unique sensation too.

it felt like some deeper form of freedom.

Meanwhile, to balance the scales,

a yellow jacket wasp also took interest on the crystal minerals on my other foot.

In fact, two then three yellow jackets nestled right in beneath my toes cantilevered over the edge of my rock perch.

So on my right there is a remarkable orange, brown, and white butterfly sniffling minerals off my toes while on my left there are three wasps not-so-gracefully doing the same.

You see the dilemma.

What do I do?

What do I focus on?

Are the damn yellow jackets going to get me way out here in the boonies? (apparently I’m highly allergic)

I wanted just to focus on the butterfly, but I could absolutely not deny the presence of the wasps and the deep discomfort that every fiber of my being wanted to feel.

I knew that if I made a sharp movement to shew away the wasps that the butterfly would certainly leave.

The wasps may then come back with a larger posse and really teach me a lesson…

Instead of focusing on the beauty and the feeling of the butterfly literally eating off my feet,

I would focus on the unsettling discomfort of the wasps, completely ignoring the butterfly.

The more I focused on the wasps, the more fear would set in.

The more I focused on the butterfly, the more freedom set in.

What a profound moment life presented me.

Can two truths not both exist at the same time?

Are they both not the same thing, just manifest in different ways?

Is there a really a black and white with good or bad?

Fear and freedom exist on behalf of each other.

You don’t get one without the other, and they constantly inform your highest becoming if you allow it.

I had to accept that they both must exist if I want to participate in Life.

I cannot control my reality, I can only create it as far as my perception will allow it to go.

On the other end of that line, Life will always interact with me in ways that cannot be controlled.

The agency I have is focus and acceptance.

I have to accept that both fear and freedom play roles in my life, but I do get a choice as to where I direct my energy.

You create more of what you focus on, but you cannot bypass your fears.

Fear will always exist, but the real lesson is learning that I do not need to identify with fear.

Fear can be a great guide into revealing where I am not yet free, but when I accept that fear and just allow it to be, its power over me dissolves.

Freedom is there beneath the dissolution of fear.

I believe its there for you too.